One of my classmates died....?

Okay, so my classmate died after she got in a horrible car accident. I didn't know her all that well, but she was sweet to everybody. I'm having a pretty hard time dealing with the grief. My entire school is in mourning, and I don't have many people to turn to for comfort. My boyfriend doesn't go to school with me, so i can't get it from him. If you would just take some time out of your day to help one person deal with their loss, i would appreciate it so much. If you are willing to talk to me about her death or anything that might get my mind off it, please email or IM me. This is a terrible tragedy for my entire school. She was a junior and her prom is tomorrow night. I am a freshman, but she touched my heart in so many ways. Thanks

One of my classmates died....?
Oh...I'm really very sorry for your loss.





Really, losing someone is one of life's hardest things to endure. You should go to your family, a pastor, even a counselor. God hears your cries too. you can't hide that hurt forever. I'll say a prayer for you, your friend all those who are strucken hardly by this.





if you ever wanna email me, feel free to, my email is vbarrera09@yahoo.com i don't have im but you can email me though.





In my prayers,





~ Veronica
Reply:I would be happy to talk to you about this and anything else that's bothering you.





I have lost friends and even a wife and my parents so I understand the pain and the confusion.





Let's talk...





D
Reply:i am sorry to hear about your class mate,,, it is a sad thing in my senior year we had a class mate that died,, so i know how you feel,, it is an awkard thing to have to go thru ,, but think only god need the good one at a young age,,


remember all the good things about her,, what we did in our class was to write things down on how he affected our lives then we gave all the letters to his parents ,,it helped us deal with it but it helped them more to know that we all cared,,


you can email me or im me i will be willing to chat and talk things thru cause u can;t keep this inside,,


talk with the people in school , we had counseleor that will chat with us while we went thu it, ,but i am a type away,,


once again i am sorry for the loss of a class mate,,


but know that she will watch over all of you,,
Reply:Please honey don't feel like you by yourself cause i think everyone has been there . its part of this life . One day there will be no more pain , death , tears , .--- it's in the bible .
Reply:I am sorry you are hurting so badly.





Helping others always helps me when I am in pain. Consider what you might do for her family, as they are in even more pain than you are. Could you write them a letter telling them what she meant to you? Send a flower arrangement? Ask your church to set up a prayer circle? Offer to run errands for them, like walking the dog, taking out garbage, washing the dishes? get your friends together for a candle light vigil with prayers?





Please also talk to your folks. They would want to hear how hard this is for you.





My e mail address is fletchokee@yahoo.com
Reply:This happens in almost every highschool I lost 4 friends while in highschool from car wrecks and all involved alcohol. Its very hard and talking about it will help you alot. The funeral will help you out alot to. I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. Talk to your family about it they will help you sort it out.
Reply:Are you in Maine? I have friends up there who told me about it...





Honey...death is hard on everyone. My step-sister died in a terrible car crash with her boyfriend last year. She was 16...she'd had her liscence for a month...





Even if your boyfriend doesn't go to school with you, he could still lend an ear. he should be there for you when you need him. They should be setting up some grief counselers at your school soon...you can go and talk to one of them.





My advice to you is make the most of your life. Live every day to it's fullest because you never know which one will be your last. Appreciate the beauty in life. Stop and smell a flower. Lay in the grass and look at the clouds. Blow bubbles. Smile at a stranger. Simple things make people's lives better. you'll get through this.
Reply:l'm sorry for your lose, three of my friends passed away when I was in high school. Two from car accidents.


It is very difficult to deal with and I still think about them all the time. I don't know how to help you through this other then to say that the pain gets easier with time. Just hold on to the memories that you do have of her.


Peace.
Reply:I graduated in 94 but every year there were a few who died for different reasons. I am sorry for every ones lose. I know it is hard but time will heal and time is all that will heal you all will be in my prayers.
Reply:I'm so sorry. You can always email me and talk about it.
Reply:I downloaded this from a site I cannot remember. I hope this helps you in your time of despair. I am so sorry for your loss.


Your Friend in Christ Jesus: The following is not my words, I repeat Not My Words, but I found it on the internet.:





How to Deal With Depression!





Jeremiah 20:7-18





Christians don’t get depressed do they? Oh yes, they do! Godly people since Adam and Eve have struggled with depression. Moses was at a point in his life when the Israelites had built a golden calf to worship that he asked God to go ahead and take his life.





David cried out in the Psalms, “O my soul, why are you downcast within me?” Elijah, in 1 Kings 19:4, after his great victory on Mt. Carmel, fell into a great depression and asked God to kill him and end his misery. The subject of our study today, Jeremiah, who you could make a case for being the greatest prophet in the Bible, suffered greatly from depression!





So, if you are feeling depressed sometimes, just know that you are in the “miserable majority”! I also want you to know that there is hope for you in God’s Word for dealing with depression when you find yourself surrounded by it! Let’s read our portion on Scripture now:





“You deceived me, Lord, and I was really fooled. You are stronger than I am, and you have defeated me. People never stop sneering and insulting me. You have let me announce only destruction and death. Your message has brought me nothing but insults and trouble. Sometimes I tell myself not to think about you, Lord, or even mention your name. But your message burns in my heart and bones, and I cannot keep silent. I heard the crowds whisper, “Everyone is afraid. Now’s our chance to accuse Jeremiah!” All of my so-called friends are just waiting for me to make a mistake. They say, “Maybe Jeremiah can be tricked. Then we can overpower him and get even at last.” But you, Lord, are a mighty soldier, standing at my side. Those troublemakers will fall down and fail—terribly embarrassed, forever ashamed. Lord All-Powerful, you test those who do right, and you know every heart and mind. I have told you my complaints, so let me watch you take revenge on my enemies. I sing praises to you, Lord. You rescue the oppressed from the wicked. Put a curse on the day I was born! Don’t bless my mother. Put a curse on the man who told my father, “Good news! You have a son.” May that man be like the towns you destroyed without pity (read Sodom %26amp; Gomorrah). Let him hear shouts of alarm in the morning and battle cries at noon. He deserves to die for not killing me before I was born. Then my mother’s body would have been my grave. Why did I have to be born? Was it just to suffer and die in shame?”


Jeremiah 20:7-18 (CEV)





Now folks, anyway you want to cut it that is an individual that is severely depressed! Wow! Have you ever felt like that? Well, join the club!





Some of the reason why we get depressed


1. Some depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in the body.


It is a well-documented medical fact that certain chemical imbalances in your body will cause depression. If you find yourself in a long period of depression you should consult your doctor. There are many medicines that are available now to help ease or eliminate this kind of depression.





2. You perceive that someone you trust very much has deceived ou.





That could be God, as in Jeremiah’s case, your spouse, a close friend, your boss, a co-worker or a classmate. Something has happened in your life that you perceive as a betrayal. This can cause you to feel very depressed.





In Jeremiah’s case, he thought that God had really deceived him. For over 20 years Jeremiah had been declaring God’s message to the people. He told them that they needed to repent or they would be destroyed! Yet, not one single person had responded to his message!





Imagine preaching for 20 years and not seeing one person respond to your message! That would put you straight into a bummer!





3. You find yourself in a situation or circumstance that you have no control over, or power to change.





Jeremiah felt like he was stuck! He wanted to bail out, but God was stronger than he was, therefore he could not alter the situation he found himself in. Day after day of the same exact thing! Many of us have faced similar times in our lives and experienced the exact same result. Depression!





4. You are the object of constant ridicule!





When people are always making fun of you, or you are the butt of their cruel jokes day after day, it is a terrible blow to your self-esteem! When I was in the Air Force, we had a guy in our unit that wasn’t very lucky with the ladies. At one time, he had asked 18 different girls out on a date without ever hearing the word “yes”. We dogged him unmercifully over it. On the 19th try, a girl finally said yeas, and we formed a victory line outside the barracks for him. He laughed it off, but you know that had to hurt him very deeply inside!





We’ve all been in this situation at one time or another in our lives. If you haven’t yet, you will. It’s just a matter of time!





5. Your life and the dreams you’ve had for it are not coming true, and further more, probably won’t.





Jeremiah was called by God to be a prophet at the tender age of 16. He had big dreams! He pictured himself being used by God to turn the nation of Israel around! It’s now 20 years later, and not one single thing has changed in the country! Not one! He starts feeling that his entire life has been a waste! All gone for nothing!





Have you ever had these feelings? Oh, we’ve all had big dreams haven’t we? We dream of making a real difference in the world around us! We dream of getting that record deal and touring the world, singing and declaring the “Good News”! Or some other dreams of making it to the top of some profession, inventing the cure for cancer, hitting a home run in the bottom of the 9th to win the World Series, or making the last shot of a basketball game to win it!! What was yours?





6. You are tired and burned out!





Sometimes we just lose our perspective on things. We burn out! We get tired! When we do, it is very easy to fall into depression because we think things are never going to change!





What are some of the symptoms of depression? (See verse 10; 14-18 again)





1. Paranoia – We are afraid of everything!





“I heard the crowds whisper, “Everyone is afraid. Now’s our chance to accuse Jeremiah!” All of my so-called friends are just waiting for me to make a mistake. They say, “Maybe Jeremiah can be tricked. Then we can overpower him and get even at last.”





Jeremiah 20:10 (CEV)





We start thinking that everyone is out to get us! Even our friends and family! We become afraid to act out because we fear making a mistake. In short, we become paralyzed!





2. Anger/Short Temper – We are angry at everything and everyone!





“Put a curse on the day I was born! Don’t bless my mother.”


Jeremiah 20:14 (CEV)





Jeremiah was blaming everyone for his troubles, even his own mother. It was her fault for bringing him into this world! Do you see how ridiculous we can become when we’re depressed?





3. Bitterness – We can become poisoned to the world and people around us!





Put a curse on the man who told my father, “Good news! You have a son.”


Jeremiah 20:15 (CEV)





Jeremiah didn’t even know this person, yet in his bitterness and depression he lashed out at him too. If he had the opportunity to meet this man, in his state of mind, he would have rejected him, thus losing the opportunity for whatever God brought the man into his life for.





Bitterness hurts only us in the end. Bitterness costs us dearly!





4. Vindictiveness – We destroy relationships in an effort to make ourselves feel better!





“May that man be like the towns you destroyed without pity. Let him hear shouts of alarm in the morning and battle cries at noon.”


Jeremiah 20:16 (CEV)





He wanted God to punish that man just like God did the cities Sodom and Gomorrah! Wow! He wanted God to rain down fire and brimstone on a guy he didn’t even know! He was simply lashing out, wanting others to feel the same kind (or worse) of pain that he was feeling!





Have you ever been here before? I hope you never get there, but depression, left untreated, can drive you to this place! Oh, there is one more place, even worse!





5. Suicidal Tendencies





“He deserves to die for not killing me before I was born. Then my mother’s body would have been my grave.”


Jeremiah 20:17 (CEV)





Sometimes the pain can be so great that you think the only way to get better is to die! My friend, that is not so! Suicide is a permanent fix to a temporary problem! There is hope! There is help!





Resources available to combat and defeat depression.





1. Recognize and realize that God is still working in your life!





Even though God may be silent right now, He still loves you and is working in your life! He has not deserted you! He has not given up on you! He’s still working His will and His way in your life!





Even Jesus faced depression! On the cross, while he was dying bearing our sins, God had to turn His back because He could not look upon the sins of the world. Jesus cried out, “My God! My God! Why have you forsaken me?”





God had not forsaken him! Evidence what happened 3 days later at the resurrection! The Day of Your Relief is coming! The Gaithers wrote and sang a song back in the 1980’s. One of it’s lines was, “Hold on my child. Joy comes in the morning!” God is still working in us!





Can anything ever separate us from Christ's love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or are hungry or cold or in danger or threatened with death. [Even the Scriptures say, "For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep."] No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from his love. Death can't, and life can't. The angels can't, and the demons can't. Our fears for today, our worries about tomorrow, and even the powers of hell can't keep God's love away. Whether we are high above the sky or in the deepest ocean, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.


Romans 8:35-39





2. Regardless of how bad things seem, never quit talking to God!





“But you, Lord, are a mighty soldier, standing at my side.”


Jeremiah 20:11 (CEV)





Jeremiah was honest with God. He yelled! He screamed! He even cursed, but he did it all with God! He knew that God was his only real source of hope and deliverance! Don’t stop talking with God during these times! If you do, you will cut yourself off from your healing and help!





3. Remember, when you speak to Jesus, you are speaking to someone who knows exactly how you feel!





He’s been rejected! He’s been made fun of! He’s been p[plotted against and has been the object of deception! He knows what it means to be unappreciated and burned out!





4. Try to recall some of your past victories!





Beloved, God has done some really great things for you in your life! Remember those! Try to dwell on them! Why? Because what God has done in the past, He can and will do again now and in the future!





5. Reclaim the promises of God and choose to praise Him!





“I sing praises to you, Lord. I sing praises to you, Lord. You rescue the oppressed from the wicked.”


Jeremiah 20:13 (CEV)





Beloved, praise is the only thing that can lift you up and out of the bottomless pit of depression and despair! Even Jeremiah knew this!





“The Spirit of the Lord God is upon Me, because the Lord has anointed Me To preach good tidings to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, To proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound; To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord, and the day of vengeance of our God; To comfort all who mourn, To console those who mourn in Zion, To give them beauty for ashes, The oil of joy for mourning, The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; That they may be called trees of righteousness, The planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.”


Isaiah 61:1-3 (NKJV)





This was the Scripture that Jesus read in the Synagogue the day he declared his public ministry. These are the things God has promised to give you through Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior! I underlined one part of that Scripture though. He promised to give “the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness.”





Understand something that is very important to you and me. A garment is something that we choose to put on or not! Each morning when you go to the closet to get dressed, you deliberately choose what garments you are going to put on! So it is with praise! You must make the choice to praise God! If you do, He promises to life your spirit of heaviness!!!





It is impossible to truly praise God and remain unhappy! If you make the choice to rejoice, God will lift you up, hold you in His arms and love and comfort you! Praise is God’s resident address! There are other promises God has made to you as well. Get out your Bible and begin to research these. Claim each one as God reveals them to you. Dwell on them rather than your depression and circumstances. You will be lifted up!





6. Get help by talking with someone you know that you can trust!





Depression happens! It is an inevitable part of life, but it doesn’t have to be a permanent part of life! There is help! There is hope! There are no instant cures or quick fixes unless God so wills, but remember this my friend. He will see you through it! If you are facing depression today, begin the road back right now. Tell God all about it!





Scream and yell if you need to! Get it all out! Vent it! Trust me, God is big enough to take it! He knows you inside and out! Trust Him! Let Him comfort and guide you! See a doctor if your depression has lasted a long time. You know God uses them too!





May God richly bless and keep you this week as you strive to give Him your best!





Dave